


Handle With Care

by Rush_Toward



Series: Non-Romantic Classic Fontcest [1]
Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Fluff, Fontcest, Incest, M/M, Misunderstandings, Platonic Sex, Pre-Undertale Pacifist Route, Sensitive bones, Sibling Incest, Smut, Virgin Papyrus
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-06-30
Updated: 2017-07-10
Packaged: 2018-11-21 12:57:43
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,621
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11357982
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rush_Toward/pseuds/Rush_Toward
Summary: New to the Snowdin area, Papyrus is determined to make lots of friends and even more admirers, and he's not above using somewhat unconventional methods to make it happen! But perhaps buying a magical attractiveness potion off the internet wasn't his greatest idea ever, because not only does his body feel very strange after drinking it, other monsters start acting even more strange towards him... including his own brother, Sans!Papyrus isn't sure what to do, and to make matters worse, that darn annoying dog keeps showing up uninvited!The first in a series of classic Fontcest lewdfics that I'll be posting here. I hope you enjoy reading them as much as I enjoy writing them!





	1. Chapter 1

In Papyrus’s supremely humble opinion, this was without a doubt the coolest outfit ever assembled by mortal hands.

Striking a dashing pose, the skeleton-monster proudly admired his own reflection in the bathroom mirror, twisting marginally to catch a glimpse of himself from various angles. A few steps behind him stood his brother, Sans, who met his gaze in the mirror with a broad smile.

“You look totally heroic, bro.”

“I’ll say so!” Papyrus concurred, basking in the praise.

From wrist to ankle he was clad in a two-piece suit of form-fitting charcoal under armour, which granted protection from the elements without impeding his mobility. Over that he wore a lightweight armor breastplate complete with rounded epaulets; pure white with a small red insignia embossed on the chest’s left side. On his hands and feet he’d donned matching vermilion gloves and sturdy knee-length boots, cinched tight with thick black buckles. Hugging his hips was a pair of cobalt shorts, just like the kind worn by superheroes, and everything was edged in brilliant golden trim.

Best of all was the roguish vermilion cape fastened around his neck—lengthy enough to qualify as a proper cape but not so long as to be impractical. Sans had somehow even found a way to make it so that whenever the wearer wanted to show off, the cape would billow dramatically even in the absence of any breeze. His brother had also done most of the work on the armor, crafting it out of metal and magic with techniques he’d picked up from a friend who specialized in mechanical engineering.

The overall design was entirely Papyrus’s own creative conception, while Sans had helped to make it into reality. It was perfect for the costume party being held at the town library tonight.

“Hmmm…” Still preening a bit, Papyrus’s dark eyes turned thoughtful. “You know, this actually seems too good to be just a costume?”

“Oh yeah?” Sans shifted to lean his weight against the wooden doorframe. “How do you mean?”

The taller monster spun around suddenly, cape swishing from the motion. “I mean that this has great potential for everyday use! Okay, I’ve decided; I’ll be wearing this to my next warrior training session with Captain Undyne!”

“Heheh, she’ll be pretty surprised to see you like that.”

“Yes!” Satisfied, Papyrus strode out of the room and headed downstairs. “I bet she’ll be impressed with my initiative! One look at my new battle body and she’ll realize how truly serious I am, and then—!! She’ll have to let me into the Royal Guard!”

“Battle body, huh?” Sans chuckled, following leisurely behind.

A small package on the kitchen table caught Papyrus’s eye, and he hurried over to pick it up, checking to confirm his name printed on the shipping label. “Um, when did this arrive?” he asked, mentally kicking himself for carelessly forgetting to bring in the secret purchase before his brother could notice it.

Lingering on the bottom step, Sans gave him a casual half-shrug. “Earlier this afternoon. Found it sitting on the porch. Sorry I didn’t mention it sooner; kinda got distracted with all the preparing for tonight. Oh, party starts in twenty minutes, by the way.”

“Well then, we’d better get going soon!” concluded Papyrus, glad for the change of subject, and he moved towards the stairs with the goal of safely stowing away the package in his bedroom. But luck wouldn’t have it. His gloved hand had barely touched the stair banister before Sans piped up again.

“What’d you order, by the way?” Sans asked, freezing him in his tracks. His brother’s tone was completely innocent, but Papyrus pointedly avoided making eye contact. “A new book or action figure maybe?”

“Y-yes,” Papyrus fibbed. “Something like that.”

“Awesome. You’ll have to show it to me when we get back.”

“I… I’m going to put this in my room,” said Papyrus, hoping that by that time his brother would have simply forgotten all about it. If not, then Papyrus would need to think up an excuse for why Sans couldn’t see, and he really didn’t like telling lies. “I’ll be back in just a minute.”

Papyrus wasted no time retreating to the privacy of his own bedroom, shutting the door and holding his breath to listen for any indication that Sans might try to follow. Not that his brother ever entered Papyrus’s space without getting his permission first, but Papyrus really didn’t want to have to explain his reasons for having ordered such a thing off the internet, not to anyone.

Setting the small box on his cool racecar bed, he tore through the brown tape with his fingers and unfolded the flaps, digging through the packing peanuts until he uncovered a sealed glass bottle filled with bubbly purple liquid.

Concocted by the great wizard-monster Madjick, it was a potion that promised to make the drinker irresistibly attractive to all monsters around them. Papyrus hadn’t bought it with the intention of using it for tonight’s party, but the timing seemed too good to ignore. With so many people gathered together at once, it was the quickest way to become popular!

He spared a moment to read over the small square of paper tied to the neck of the bottle with a bit of gold thread.

“Directions for use: drink 1 oz to enhance personal attractiveness. For monsters of modest size, reduce dosage by half. Not to exceed 2 doses within a 24 hour period.’ Sounds simple enough!”

The product description on Madjick’s webpage had stated that there were four normal doses in total, and Papyrus noted that the bottle had little markings on one side indicating as much. Very helpful. As he tugged out the cork stopper, a vaguely sweet aroma wafted out.

“Hm, I sure hope it doesn’t taste funny. Well, here I go!”

He brought the lip of the bottle to his mouth and drank down about one fourth of the potion. It tasted a bit like grapes, or maybe it was just the purple color tricking him into thinking so. Papyrus paused a moment after swallowing, waiting for something to happen, but nothing did.

“I wonder when I’ll start to notice the effects,” he murmured under his breath, jamming the cork back in and returning the bottle to the box, which he slid under his bed.

Rejoining Sans downstairs, Papyrus tried to act natural. “I’m all set! Will you be ready to leave soon, Sans?” He froze in mid-step at the landing, expression contorting in shock and anger. “What!?!? That dog!!! Why is he in the house again!?!?”

The small white dog who had on multiple prior occasions infiltrated Papyrus’s house currently lay on one side of their couch, curled up like a powdered doughnut with its nose touching its tail. Opposite of him sat Sans, leaning his weight on one elbow, eyelights focused on the screen of his cell phone. At Papyrus’s exclamation, the dog raised its fluffy white head and yipped at him happily.

“Sans! Do something!!!” He couldn’t believe that this canine had the gall to repeatedly violate the privacy of their home, and meanwhile Papyrus’s own brother wasn’t lifting a finger to stop it!

“Whoops,” remarked Sans neutrally, glancing at the dog as if only just realizing it was there. “You again, huh? What’s up, you hungry?”

“Don’t offer it our hospitality!!!”

“Okay, okay,” Sans relented with a soft smile. He rose to his feet, stuffing his phone into his pocket. “Hey buddy, I think it’s time for you to skedaddle. Go on.”

Leaping down from the couch as gracefully as its stubby little legs would allow, the annoying dog scampered off towards their front door and vanished in the blink of an eye.

“I don’t know how that accursed dog keeps finding its way in here,” Papyrus huffed irritably. He was beginning to suspect that the dog was able to disregard most laws of physics, which wasn’t necessarily unheard for monsters, but which was definitely being put to nefarious use in this case! “If we don’t do something soon, he might start to consider this his home! Then we’ll never be rid of him!”

“Yeah, that’d be pretty terrible,” conceded Sans, though it didn’t really sound to Papyrus as though Sans thought it would be so terrible. “Welp, if you’re ready to go, then I guess I’ll go change too, and then we can head out.”

“Wait, do you need any help with your costume, Sans?” With the crisis temporarily averted, Papyrus felt obliged to make sure his brother had his own business in order. “I don’t want to be late, even if it’s fashionably so!”

“Heh, yeah I hear ya. I think I can handle it, bro. Just give me a few.” He brushed past Papyrus, heading up the stairs towards his own bedroom.

“Well alright.” Papyrus thought for a moment, then stopped his brother before he could disappear into his room. “Come to think of it, you haven’t even told me what you’re going as!”

“Didn’t I?” Sans’s tone was playful. He gave a backward glance, eyes sparkling with good humor. “Huh. Must have slipped my mind.”

“I hope it isn’t anything too weird…” Papyrus chided, sensing that Sans was planning some sort of jape. “We’re still new to Snowdin, and this party is our chance to make some friends here!” Or at least, his chance to make friends. Sans was already chummy with half the townsfolk, even though he didn’t seem interested in getting close with anyone in particular. “I want to make a good impression, so please don’t do anything embarrassing.”

“Hey, I read you loud and clear, bro. Don’t you worry, I’m just dressing up as a robot. Nothing strange about it.”

“Wowie, a robot?! Like Mettaton!”

“Yeah, bro,” chuckled Sans, disappearing behind his bedroom door. “Just like Mettaton.”

*****

“That is not like Mettaton,” Papyrus groused as he stomped through the usual blanket of snow covering Snowdin’s main road. 

Grinning broadly at his brother’s annoyed tone, Sans followed closely behind, the bulkiness of his costume causing him to waddle slightly. “What? Were you expecting something sexier?” he asked, the question carrying a note of laughter.

Papyrus scoffed. “Ugh! I was expecting something that wasn’t just you in a cardboard box with holes cut for your head and arms! Which in hindsight was my own fault, because this level of laziness is so like you! Of course your costume would be thrown together at the last second!”

“Hey, cutting holes in a box isn’t the only thing I did. You’re ignoring my awesome antennas.” Sans pointed a stubby finger up at the wire coat hangers twisted into a crude headband. They wobbled obnoxiously with his every movement.

“Still, you should have let me help you! It would have been fair considering how much you helped out with mine. Everybody is going to think you didn’t even try.”

Sans continued to smile, utterly unconcerned. “It’s a party, not a contest, bro. Though if it were, I’m pretty sure that you’d win.”

“Nyeh heh heh heh! Yes, that’s very true!” Papyrus laughed, easily mollified.

“Oh, and check this out.”

Papyrus glanced back, eyeing the other monster with skepticism. A rectangle cut into the front of the box suddenly popped open and tilted forward to reveal a secret compartment filled with colorful candy corn.

Papyrus’s eyes bulged in amazement. “Oh my god!”

“Pretty cool, huh?” Sans beamed at his brother’s reaction. “I think it’ll be a great icebreaker at the party.” He flipped the drawer shut as they resumed walking.

“But wait, why would a robot be full of snacks?” Papyrus mused aloud. “You should have been a vending machine instead, Sans.”

“Dang, you’re right. Oh look, we’re here.”

Being the largest building in the rural town of Snowdin, the public library served double duty as a community center, hosting the majority of special events and festivities. A warm and inviting light emanated from the windows, and upbeat music could be heard playing from inside.

“Looks like there’s already some people here. Let’s go join ‘em.”

“Right.”

With Sans trailing behind him like a shadow, Papyrus strode forward and grasped the door handle, willing himself to exude an air of confidence. This was his big debut, and it needed to be perfect. Hoping fervently that the potion would do its part, Papyrus put on his most winning smile and stepped inside.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I enjoy writing from Papyrus's POV.  
> Thanks for reading, and please review!


	2. Chapter 2

Papyrus’s experience at the party was… a bit different from what he’d anticipated, to say the least.

From the moment he and Sans stepped through the library door, the other party attendees reacted very oddly towards Papyrus. There was never a moment when he didn’t have at least half a dozen pairs of eyes on him—not accounting for the occasional monster possessing an irregular number of eyes. Initially this excited him! So many people seemed interested in meeting and talking to the great Papyrus, and he could barely keep up! Before today, the townspeople hadn’t made much of an effort to get to know him, and he chalked up the sudden change to the indisputable coolness of his new outfit and the fun party atmosphere. There were a few costumes that came close to being as cool as his own, but Papyrus was reasonably confident that he was one of the most impressively-dressed individuals in attendance.

People kept trying to give him things—plates of munchies, drinks, scraps of paper with their phone number written down… At first the gestures seemed friendly and thoughtful, but before long it became overbearing and a little obnoxious. Did it really look like he needed another drink when he was holding two of them already?! He quickly found himself wishing he possessed another set of hands to deal with it all, like a spider! Although, if he were a spider-monster then he wouldn’t be able to live in a cold place like Snowdin, so in the long run it really was best that he was a skeleton.

Conversation with his fellow party-goers proved to be a bit awkward, with monsters frequently zoning out in mid-conversation as if lost in thought, forcing Papyrus to repeat himself before they would give him a response. Several times he or another monster was interrupted by someone enthusiastically commenting how good Papyrus smelled, which was equal parts flattering and creepy. As he thanked different monsters again and again for various compliments on his costume, his height, his teeth, the whiteness of his bones, Papyrus grew only more confused, and a little concerned. Although he truly loved being in the spotlight, this much attention while he was just trying to mingle with the crowd was bewildering, to say the least. 

Certainly strangest of all was the way people were so casually invading his personal space, either with wandering hands or their entire person, bumping into, brushing past, or even pressing against him until he managed to wriggle away with a blush and a nervous laugh. Worse still was the very foreign buzzy feeling simmering beneath the surface of his bones, which was becoming more difficult to ignore the longer it went on. Warm and tingling in a way that constantly demanded his attention, it was as if his entire body had become unnaturally receptive to sensation. He tried to attribute it to the excitement of the party and the super-friendly welcome he’d received, but every time a monster ran a claw down his arm, put their paw on the small of his back, or leaned up against his shoulder, the contact sent a little thrill up his spine, and it was a bit unsettling.

A few of the bolder individuals even requested that he accompany them home after the party, which he declined as politely as possible. As far as Papyrus knew there weren’t any alcoholic drinks at the party since even the children of Snowdin were present, so he didn’t know what to make of such forward cajolery from some of the people. It was his first time attending a costume party and he wasn’t yet very familiar with anyone there, so he couldn’t be certain that this wasn’t perfectly typical behavior for Snowdin monsters and the friends they’d invited from out of town. Maybe it was no big deal. Even so, he couldn’t shake the suspicion that the funny feeling in his bones and the borderline-inappropriate behavior from everyone else was somehow related to the potion he’d drank.

The entire time, Sans hung back a bit making small talk with plenty of other monsters. Every now and then Papyrus would turn to check on his brother to see if Sans was still enjoying himself, and whether or not he was also the target of similar propositions. The shorter skeleton monster seemed in his element, cheerfully socializing with a variety of monsters of all ages and genders. His makeshift costume was a hit, drawing much laughter from the others. But perhaps Sans noticed Papyrus’s frequent glances and sensed that something was amiss, because hardly an hour after they’d arrived, he pulled Papyrus to a more secluded corner of the library and quietly asked if he was ready to go home. Papyrus readily agreed, relieved that he hadn’t needed to suggest it himself.

A disappointed outcry from the small crowd followed Sans’s announcement that they were taking off early, and Papyrus was almost tempted to change his mind and stay longer. But Sans was skilled at public speaking and managed to make them all laugh with an assurance that in a cozy town like Snowdin there was “Snow-doubt” they’d see each other again soon. Papyrus waved goodbye to everyone and managed to slip out the door despite the insistent clinging on his arm and scarf by a couple of particularly stubborn monsters.

“Hoo, some party, huh?” asked Sans as they trudged through their front door, kicking snow off their shoes. “That was the most people I’ve seen in one place since we moved in here. Did you get to try any of the punch? I heard that Grillby guy made it himself. I should see if he’s got a recipe he’s willing to share, heheh.”

“I’m glad to hear you had a good time, Sans,” replied Papyrus with a perplexed frown. “It was a good party, but everyone was acting very weird. Maybe there was something sneaky in that punch.”

“Yeah, maybe you’re right.” Without removing his robot costume, Sans flopped down on the lumpy couch in the living room, feet propped up on the arm rest. The cardboard box crunched and bent out of shape, but he didn’t seem to care. “Sounds like maybe your time wasn’t as good,” he observed gently, glancing over at Papyrus. “I’m sorry about that, bro.”

“I just…” Sighing, Papyrus struggled to articulate himself. “I’d hoped to make friends with everyone while I was there, but I’m not so sure that’s what happened.”

“It seemed like everybody really liked you,” offered Sans. “Maybe a little too much, in some cases. Hey, uh, I noticed on our way there that you smelled kinda... different than usual. Did you maybe put on some of that bone cologne stuff?”

“Something like that,” replied Papyrus guardedly. “What do you mean by ‘different’?”

“I dunno, it’s like… you smell really good, to be honest. Maybe that’s what had people acting so weird around you. Whatever it is, I don’t think you should wear that anymore, bro. Such a super cool guy doesn’t need any creams or colognes just to make people like you.”

For one terrible instant Papyrus feared that Sans somehow knew exactly what he had done. But no, that wasn’t possible. Sans was merely empathizing with him while making an educated guess. That was all.

“I’m going to go to the bathroom,” Papyrus announced, marching up the stairs without waiting for a response. Once in the privacy of the bathroom, he studied his reflection carefully, searching for anything that seemed out of the ordinary. His own handsome face stared back at him, looking the same as always, if perhaps a little anxious. No clues to be found there. Curiously, he sniffed himself in a few spots, trying to find whatever Sans had been talking about, but came up empty-handed. As far as he could tell, the most significant change was just the faint, persistent tingling in his bones coupled with a bothersome sense of restlessness.

When Papyrus reemerged, he could hear Sans rummaging around in the kitchen. The slightly squashed robot costume lay discarded in a sad pile near the dining room table. Papyrus joined Sans to make sure he wasn’t creating too big of a mess.

“Hey, I was gonna whip up a batch of chips and bean dip if you’re interes—woah.” Hand wrapped around a can of pinto beans, Sans cut himself off mid-sentence, freezing in place with wide eyesockets. “Did you put on more of whatever that stuff is? I can smell you from over here.”

“No, I didn’t!” Papyrus denied, getting a little worried. “I—I haven’t put on anything today! Are you sure you aren’t just imagining it, Sans??”

“No way, how could I be? Look, um… don’t worry about it, Papyrus. I think I made it sound like more of a big deal than it really is. Hey, I almost forgot to tell you about these really cool new pasta noodles I found at the store yesterday. They’re shaped like little dinosaurs. I thought you’d like to try making them sometime, so I picked up a couple boxes for you.”

He was clearly changing the subject, but Papyrus was grateful for it. “So, you’ll be using the kitchen for a while?”

“Not if you need it for something.”

“No, I—Uhh, I was thinking I’d do some tidying up around the house, and if you’re in here then that’s good. We won’t get in each other’s way, and I can make noise without it interfering with your reading or tv watching.”

“Sounds like a plan,” Sans winked. 

For Papyrus, chores were always a soothing way to pass the time. Putting things back in their place, dusting and vacuuming—he focused on each individual task and accomplished them one at a time until everything had been cleaned to his personal standards. Halfway through, Sans finished making the bean dip and relocated to the couch to eat. Tortilla chip crumbs fell everywhere so that Papyrus had to vacuum all over again, but he found that he didn’t mind it much tonight.

After cleaning the house from top to bottom—minus Sans’s room and the kitchen—Papyrus had worked up a bit of a sweat, and to his surprise he could now notice what Sans had been talking about. A strange sort of musky sweet smell which was definitely not natural to him clung to his person, the scent strongest in places that he sweat from the most.

It scared him a little. This had to be from the potion; there was no other explanation. Was this what it meant to become more attractive? Making it so that other monsters could smell him from a mile away? Hopefully the effects would wear off soon so that he could return to having more normal interactions with people. He didn’t even want to think about how Undyne would react. Although, she didn’t seem to have a nose…

Sans was currently buried in one of his joke books after dumping his dirty dishes into the sink.   
Somehow Papyrus felt as though Sans was deliberately trying not to look at him, though maybe it was only his imagination. He felt bad. It seemed like he was making Sans uncomfortable, even if he didn’t mean to.

Perhaps a good scrub in the shower would do the trick. He’d already showered earlier that morning, so he wasn’t unclean, but if even he was able to smell the strange scent emanating from his bones, then something needed to be done. So, he put away the vacuum and cleaning supplies and headed upstairs.

Standing on the bathmat waiting for the water to heat up, Papyrus considered whether he should wash his costume too. He’d only been wearing it for around three hours in total, but he suspected it was starting to pick up some of the foreign scent he was emitting. With a sigh, he stripped it off carefully and left it folded on the bathroom counter to throw in the laundry later.

The stream of water, usually so soothing, didn’t relax him as much as he’d expected it to. Instead, he squirmed under the flow, every drip sliding down his bare bones like a caress, reminding him of when some of the monsters at the party had touched him uninvited. Even the feel of his own hands as he diligently lathered bodywash over every inch of himself was strangely electric, and he found himself lingering over certain spots for longer than was strictly necessary, fingertips and thumbs rubbing mindless patterns over the sensitive bone until he shook himself out of his trance and quickly finished rinsing off.

The mix of soap and steam in the shower made it uncertain whether or not he’d been successful in washing away the strange smell, but once he was in his own bedroom he found to his dismay that it was still there, almost as strong as before. It seemed that all he’d accomplished was exacerbating the fidgety tension that had started halfway through the party: that unfamiliar urge to keep touching himself all over, almost like a full-body itch. Both the distracting tingly sensation and the strange scent were getting progressively worse as the night wore on, leading him to wonder if there was a more direct connection between the two than he’d originally assumed.

With a cautious glance at his closed door, Papyrus kneeled down to retrieve the potion from under his bed, scanning the label and instructions thoroughly for any hint about his current predicament, but found nothing that seemed relevant. Scouring the product webpage online yielded similar results, and he huffed in frustration. Maybe he was having some kind of allergic reaction to the potion. If nothing changed by tomorrow morning, he’d email Madjick asking for help.

For tonight, he decided to just try ignoring it. Donning his loose striped pajamas, Papyrus resumed work on plans for a new puzzle-trap to catch fallen humans in the woods, which he’d started the other day. After a while without making much progress, he switched to browsing the web and checking out the UnderNet newsfeed for any photos of the party, but quickly found that too didn’t hold his attention for long. Focusing on anything seemed like an exercise in futility.

“Knock knock,” came Sans’s voice from the hallway outside his room, the soft-spoken words accompanied by a light rapping of bare knuckles against the wooden trim. Papyrus turned around to see his brother almost timidly pushing open the door while not yet stepping through. “Hey, uh, I know it’s still kinda early, but I wanted to ask if you’re up for the usual bedtime story, or if you’d rather take a pass tonight.”

“Oh! Uh…” Papyrus quickly considered his options. The short period of privacy he’d created for himself had been a welcome respite from the awkwardness building up between him and Sans, but now that night had fallen, he found himself unnerved by the idea of being all on his own while still suffering the strange potion-induced restlessness. It wasn’t that he was scared to be alone... not at all! He wasn’t scared of anything! It’s just, maybe having a familiar presence nearby would be comforting during these trying times. Assuming Sans wasn’t too put off by his weird smell...

“Of course I’m up for it!” he answered with conviction. “I’m surprised you even have to ask! When have I ever turned down a bedtime story?”

His brother chuckled and let himself into the room, gently shutting the door behind him and moseying over to Papyrus’s large bookshelf to select a candidate for the night.

“I’m glad you’re feeling better, bro. I was a little worried since, well, you’ve been acting like someone with ants in their shirt all evening, unable to sit still. More than normal I mean, heheh.” He pulled a thin book out from one row, tugging a bit since the shelf was so tightly-packed. “Hm, might need to get you a second bookcase soon, huh? This one’s pretty full already. Oh, speaking of, is your new book up here yet? We could read that if you want.”

“UH!” Halfway into bed, Papyrus panicked, caught in his lie from earlier just as he’d hoped he wouldn’t. “No thanks, Sans! I’d rather read it some other time!”

“Ok, if you say so. We’ll save it for a special occasion then,” he winked.

Papyrus withheld a sigh of relief. He was off the hook for now, but as Sans pulled over the computer chair and settled down alongside the red racecar bed to read, Papyrus felt his guilt gnaw at him. Sans was being so nice even though Papyrus had lied to him. All he could think about was the fact that the potion lay in its box under the bed, just a scant distance away from Sans’s beat-up slippers. But then Sans began reading aloud, and Papyrus discarded his concerns, instead fluffing his pillow distractedly and settling more fully into bed to listen.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I debated writing Papyrus keeping his costume on while showering, but decided against it since this was a unique situation and Papyrus wanted to really make sure he got himself clean. The costume would get in the way of that, but any other day he’d wear it in the tub, lol.


	3. Chapter 3

All throughout the bedtime story, Papyrus felt inexplicably impatient, unable to focus on the words. Oh, but his brother’s low voice and smooth cadence was somehow more pleasant to listen to than ever, and Papyrus definitely didn’t want him to stop talking. At the same time, Sans’s presence made him highly aware of the persistent near-ache in his bones that he’d been trying so hard to ignore. It plagued his consciousness with a strange craving to be touched.

He thought about all the physical contact he’d received at the party, and it made him frown a bit. The people there were barely more than his acquaintances, and there had been a greedy, possessive quality to their touches. Papyrus knew with a certainty that it was inappropriate for them to have treated him so familiarly. Conversely, he thought about the bunny lady who owned the town’s Inn and how she had pet his head so warmly when he’d introduced himself to her on the day after they’d moved into Snowdin. Blissful and comforting though her motherly touch was, Papyrus felt like he needed something a little different at the moment. He just didn’t know exactly what!

Would it be weird to ask Sans to pet him? Hmm, definitely less so than asking a complete stranger, but he wasn’t sure if being brothers made stuff like that more acceptable, or less. 

When he glanced over at Sans, he startled slightly. The bedtime story book lay closed on the side table, and the other skeleton was hunched forward, staring back at him.

“So, do you wanna tell me what’s going on, bro?”

“H-HUHHH??” Papyrus asked too loudly, smiling and glancing away guiltily. “I don’t know what you mean, Sans! There’s nothing going on!” Stealing a peek from the corner of his eye, he saw that his brother hadn’t moved, and was still watching him unwaveringly. Something about Sans’s earnest gaze broke him, and he knew he couldn’t keep up the pretense.

“Ugh, fine! You’re completely right, Sans. I… hid something from you today. It’s this.” Bending down over the side of the bed, he pulled out the hidden cardboard box. “The truth is, I didn’t buy a book or an action figure. I ordered a magic potion that was supposed to make people like me, and I drank it right before we left for the party. At first I wasn’t sure it was even working, but everyone at the party was very friendly yet... oddly invasive of my personal space?? And as time went on, I started feeling really funny.”

“Funny how?” asked Sans in concern, pulling the box closer to look. “Can you list your symptoms?”

“S-symptoms? Do you think it might have made me ill?” Papyrus had to pause and consider before answering. “Well… my body’s become uncomfortably warm and… weirdly sensitive. Even just clothing feels so scratchy and tickly. And there’s this constant anxiousness deep in my gut that I can’t explain, like I need to do something but I don’t know what yet… He trailed off his explanation. “What?? Why are you giving me that look??”

Sans’s expression contained something close to disappointment, his ever-present smile tight and pensive. But at Papyrus’s question, he regained a bit of his usual easy-going demeanor, eyesockets crinkling up in mirth.

“We don’t have guts, Papyrus.”

“Agh! I know that!”

“And... I really wish you would talk to me when stuff happens,” chided Sans gently.

“You keep a lot of secrets too, Sans,” Papyrus muttered reproachfully, eyes steadfastly on the colorful flame pattern decorating his bedroom rug.

With a sigh, Sans opened the box to explore its contents. He read the bottle’s label and the square of paper tied to the neck, flipping it over to check both sides. “There an ingredients list for this thing?”

“No, I don’t think so.”

“Show me where you bought it from.” San’s voice was gentle, but firm.

Papyrus knew he couldn’t argue even if he wanted to. So he went to his PC and brought up the webpage, then stepped aside so that Sans could read. “Just don’t look at my history,” he insisted weakly, feeling exceptionally flustered about the whole situation.

Sans didn’t say anything. He scanned the webpage, brow furrowed intently.

Standing next to Sans, Papyrus noticed that he could feel the slight warmth his brother’s body gave off. Almost without thinking, he subtly brushed their arms together, and despite the barrier of their sleeves, the resulting tingle was very rewarding. Sans barely responded to the contact, his attention focused on the computer screen. Bored, Papyrus began to relax more heavily against the shorter monster, until Sans suddenly spoke up.

“I don’t have a lot of experience with potions,” said Sans, “but I think maybe you got the wrong idea for this one.”

Jerking away from his brother, Papyrus’s brow furrowed in concernment. “What do you mean?”

“This thing isn’t a golden ticket to popularity and friendship. It’s more of a, uh…” He hesitated, searching for the right words and failing.

“A what??” Papyrus begged, starting to feel very scared.

“Hmm…” Sans looked like he was torn. “Papyrus, do you mind if I say something really blunt and kinda gross?”

“If… if it’s necessary!”

“I think that potion makes the drinker feel turned-on. Right now, your body is probably just sexually aroused.”

“I don’t… really understand??”

“It means you really want to kiss and cuddle with a romantic partner.”

“What? I… No!” Papyrus shook his head in denial. “I do _eventually_ want to do all those things with someone, but not just for the sake of doing it! That’s putting the cart ahead of the horse!”

“I know, bro, but the potion’s tricked your body into wanting it anyway, and it seems that because of your scent, the people around you become similarly affected.”

“Oh my god, I’m… so displeased with this whole situation!” That was putting it lightly, but Papyrus had no one to blame but himself for it, so what else could he say?

Sans’s voice was consoling. “I’m so sorry, Papyrus.”

“Sans, you shouldn’t feel sorry! None of this is your fault at all! And I’m really glad you’re not angry with me because of it.” Papyrus wilted, already weary of the situation. “I feel so stupid.”

“Hey, hey, don’t talk like that!” Sans’s hands flew out of his pockets to wave dismissively, his voice soothing. “Listen, none of this is a big deal at all. According to the product page, the effects last for less than a day. It’ll all be over by tomorrow, and no one besides us will know that anything even happened. All that matters is that you understand not to rely on any shady potions from now on.”

“But… what am I supposed to do in the meantime?” Papyrus asked in despair. “My body feels so weird and I can’t seem to ignore it! Do I just endure this until the potion’s effects wear off?”

Sans scratched his cheek awkwardly, looking everywhere except at Papyrus. “Well if you ask me, I think your best bet would be to just… take a little trip to Palmdale and give yourself the old ‘low-five’ to take off the edge until the potion’s effects subside.”

Papyrus stared at the shorter skeleton, uncomprehending. “Go where? Give the what?? Sans, please, this isn’t helping.”

Sans’s smile looked just as frustrated as Papyrus felt. “You gotta, y’know…” He trailed off, and Papyrus reflected that he’d never seen his brother so tongue-tied before. “Haven’t you ever, uh, touched yourself? Intimately, that is.”

Blinking, Papyrus finally clued in to where Sans had been going with all this. “Oh, um. I do know about that kind of thing, but I… don’t know... how.”

Sans chuckled weakly. “I guess that complicates things a bit.”

“I hate this,” Papyrus whispered. “I think just talking about it made the feeling get stronger, and… it’s affecting you, too, Sans.”

At this observation, the lights in Sans’s eyes suddenly winked out, and his typically slack posture stiffened. Papyrus was about to retract the statement, alarmed at his brother’s unexpected reaction.

“Don’t… worry about that, bro,” Sans uttered haltingly, and he took a slow step backwards, putting some distance between them. “That isn’t a problem for you to deal with.” When he looked up again, Papyrus could tell he was making an effort to act casual. “Alright then. Well, monsters are usually left to figure this out at their own pace, but… circumstances being what they are, I guess I should give you a hint to point you in the right direction.”

“I’m listening,” Papyrus assured him, desperate for a solution.

“So um, this has a lot of different names, but usually it’s called ‘masturbation’, ok? Almost everybody does it once they get older, but typically it’s a personal thing that people don’t talk about in public.”

Papyrus already knew that much, but since they were being candid right now, he felt free to ask, “Everybody? Including you, Sans?”

“Um, sometimes,” answered Sans slowly, his smile twitching in obvious embarrassment.

“Okay well, what do I need to do?”

“I’ll be getting outta here in just a minute so you can have some privacy while you give it a shot. Basically all you need to do is, uh, touch yourself wherever it feels like you need it. After a while you’ll hopefully reach a point where everything suddenly feels extra good for a brief moment. After that, the urges should just kinda go away. In your case, since you drank that potion, it might actually take more than one round before you think you’re done, so don’t panic if that happens, ok?”

“Okay,” Papyrus replied hesitantly. “So you’re saying that to do this ‘masturbation’, I need to… touch myself until it feels even better, then stop. Or keep going, depending on whether or not I’m ‘done’. Hmm, I don’t think I totally understand, but I’ll do my best.”

“Cool. I’ll be next door if you need anything.” Sans idled in the doorway. “You want the lights on, or off?”

“Don’t I need to be able to see?” asked Papyrus, and Sans’s smile softened fondly.

“Alright, I’ll leave ‘em on, then. See ya later.” He pulled the door closed as he exited.

Alone, Papyrus sat in silence for a time, contemplating everything he had been told.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Short chapter, blah. I'll post the next one quicker.


End file.
